Radiant Authenticity: Embrace Your Glow and Illuminate the Shadows Within 💫

In my family, appearances are everything. When we have guests over, depending on who it is, we dig deep into the archives of my mom's cristalliera (display cabinet) to find her finest china. We eat certain foods to make us seem like we are civilized humans, because our southern Italian food is embarrassing. My parents never even taught us to speak their language because it's not proper Italian and apparently, it is shameful to speak that dialect.

When we are feeling a certain way towards a person or a situation, we are told to "keep quiet" and to get over it. There is no such thing as communication or confrontation because that might cause conflict, and we don't deal with that. I want to say it's a cultural thing, but I also don't want to generalize. Growing up, we were taught to hide, or to pretend, or to leave out information that could potentially hurt our family's image. This has led to a lack of communication and a sense of mistrust.

I want to take this a step further and say that these rules mostly apply to the women. The standards that are held for us are so much higher and unachievable than the ones held for the men. A perfect example of this would be when my sister decided to go on vacation with her boyfriend before she was married. This was a big huge NO NO in my family. Girl's could never go anywhere near a place where there is a bed, a boy, and no adult supervision. My parents fought with her for months, they gave her the whole "we are going to disown you" speech. Obviously that never happened and then when they finally accepted that she was going to go no matter what, they told all of us to never speak of this to anyone. Like they were so ashamed of what their daughter was doing and no one was allowed to know that we were not the perfect little family we were pretending to be. In turn, when my brother "acts out" and the rest of the family hears about it, the excuse is that "he's just a boy".

I am the oldest sister of 4. I have two younger sisters and a brother. As the oldest girl, I felt like I had to be a perfect daughter and perfect example of what a "good girl" should be so that my younger siblings could follow suit. My whole life I tried so hard to do things right, to be the perfect daughter, and a "good, quiet girl". Until one day I wasn't. I decided that I don't want to follow the rules anymore if it was not what I believed in. I don't want to swallow my words if something is hurting me and I am not afraid to cry in front of people, even if it makes them uncomfortable. I decided to stop hiding. I started sharing my stories with my cousins, my sisters and my friends. I started to talk more about the things I was embarrassed about and ashamed of because I realized that there really is noting to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. I found my voice and started to speak my truth. I learned through Yoga, about the principal of Satya. By practicing Satya, I aim to create a more authentic and harmonious relationship with myself and the world around me. I want to be an inspiration for the other women in my life to do the same. I don't want the people that I love the most to be suffering in silence and putting on an act to pretend that everything is perfectly fine, when it's really not.

Satya, is the principle of truthfulness or honesty. It encourages practitioners to be truthful in their thoughts, words, and actions. In the context of Satya, truthfulness goes beyond simply avoiding lies. It involves being honest with oneself and others, cultivating sincerity, and living in alignment with one's values. Practicing Satya requires self-awareness and an understanding of the impact that our words and actions can have on ourselves and those around us.

I invite you to integrate truthfulness in different ways of life:

1. Truthfulness with yourself: This involves self-reflection and a commitment to being authentic. It means acknowledging and accepting your true thoughts, feelings, and intentions without self-deception.

2. Truthfulness in speech: Practicing Satya encourages speaking the truth, but it also emphasizes the importance of expressing yourself in a kind and compassionate manner. It involves avoiding harmful or hurtful speech and choosing words that promote understanding and harmony.

3. Living in integrity: Satya encourages living in alignment with your values and principles. This means making choices and decisions that reflect a commitment to truthfulness, even when faced with challenges or temptations to compromise.

When I finally learned to stop hiding, to stop pretending, and to embrace my true, authentic self, I realized that perfection is not real. It is an illusion that each and every one of us creates in our minds. Life is actually already perfect just as it is. It can get messy and confusing, but it's just a part of the human experience. It feels so much more liberating and natural to be authentic with the people that I love, instead of having to hide my imperfections, my feelings, and my truth.

When you learn to stop judging yourself for things not going as planned, you will also learn to stop judging others for their differences. You will realize that there is no such thing as an ideal life, there is just a life. We get to choose how to live it. We get to choose how we want to show up, and we get to choose to be authentic. Stop hiding who you are, stop hiding how you feel, and start to be proud that you have overcome so much and are learning to navigate this journey of life. We're all in this together, so don't be afraid and don't be PERFECT!

Live through Satya, and encourage those around you to do the same.

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If you have any personal stories that you would like to share, please reach out to me by email or Instagram. I would love to hear what other women experience!

email: flowbycass@gmail.com

instagram: instagram.com/flowbycass